What’s the story?

Many may wonder how I arrived here. How did I begin doing yoga? How did I become a behavior analyst? How am I really qualified to help you? Don’t worry, I’m here to answer all of those questions. And let’s be real, some of you are probably wondering how a black woman got into all of this. I say this simply because people who look like me are a rarity in behavior analysis and the yoga community. Check some of the stats if you don’t believe me.

Ultimately, what I see are opportunities for change. I have this habit of managing to fit myself into tiny margins and then expanding those margins into something greater where there is space for everyone. This is no easy task and I often find myself in very uncomfortable spaces. Despite the circumstances, I stay faithful to my intentions. I’m very aware of my purpose in life and I know that my path is uniquely paved.

I’ll begin by first saying that I certainly wasn’t one of those people who grew up around spiritually open individuals, nor did I know anything about behavior analysis. I was raised into a very strict Christian religion that did not encourage learning much about other faiths. As far as my career aspirations as a child, I wanted to be a singer, an actress, or a psychiatrist. So basically, I’m none of the things that were impressed upon me as a child. Funny huh? Some would be disappointed had they not fulfilled their childhood dreams, but I’m not. I’m happy that I shed every layer of conditioning that I received and followed my own path. Was it easy? No. Was it comfortable? Absolutely not. Was it worth it? Yes!

I began my journey to self circa 2015. I was going through so many major life events at the time. I had scars from so many failed relationships, repressed trauma, depression, anxiety….you name it, I had it going on. I naturally turned back to the things I was most familiar with thinking that they would pacify me. They only made me feel more lost. I had never felt so alone before in my entire life. I honestly didn’t know what to do, so I decided to surrender to whatever came up in my life.

That decision was the most terrifying thing I had ever done. I went against everything I was ever taught. I isolated myself from a vast majority of the people I loved, mainly because I felt that they would never understand what I was going through. I barely understood that myself. I found myself in uncharted territory that was completely inescapable–alone with my thoughts. Now I have always been the type to be inside of my own head constantly, but there was a dissonance there that I didn’t take care to address. I did what most other people do–find unhealthy coping mechanisms. I sought things that made me “feel better”, but never really fixed the root of my problems. That is a different type of hell to live in…the one that we create for ourselves and continue to repeat.

It was time for me to put my big girl panties on and figure my life out, so I started by joining a spiritual community. I owe so much of my growth to CSL Dallas. It was a spiritual safe haven that made room for me to blossom into the person that I am today. I was fed with all of the things that my spirit needed. I learned that there was universality in spirituality and religion and I was never pressured to believe in one thing or the other. I was free. Because of the diversity of their teachings, I found a more clear path to my personal spiritual enlightenment. This is where I discovered a resonance with the teachings of Hinduism and Buddhism–and thus my yoga journey truly began.

I have always had a consciousness of my mental and physical health (thanks to my grandmother). I love being active! For many years prior to the start of my spiritual journey, I would catch a yoga class here and there but it never went any deeper than that. It was just something I enjoyed doing mainly because I was flexible and was continuously praised for being a good student. Fast forward to 2015, yoga became one of the things that kept me grounded and calmed my anxiety. I would get up for an early class before work or catch an evening flow to wind down on any given day. It became habitual and I was curious to learn more.

Truth be told, I had some scary experiences in class meditations. I had come to realize that I needed to finally address what kept coming up. This is when I began cognitive behavioral therapy. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. It was the healing that I had been avoiding for all of my life. I unloaded all of my traumas and attacked them one by one. Therapy taught me skills that I could use for a lifetime. Yet again, I shed another layer of myself and emerged anew.

Everything’s perfect by now, right? Not at all. By May 2017, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. That was a complete curveball. A story for another time. I had a chronic and potentially debilitating disease that had no cure and no clear cause. What the entire f*ck? All I could think is, “What did I do to deserve this?”. I didn’t know a single soul with MS and I really had no idea what it was. Great, something else to deal with. Right?

Wrong. I have been blessed not to develop any additional spinal lesions since my first MRI 3 years ago. Yay me! My doctor’s best advice was to take my DMDs (Disease modifying drugs), get regular exercise, eat well, and avoid undue stress. You might be wondering how I could manage to have done this with all that goes on in life. Avoid stress? Ha! This is where it gets interesting.

Let’s go to 2019. This is the year that was probably on The Most Stressful Years of My Life list. I was doing 50 million things, but getting certified as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst was at the top of that list. I think I probably ate pages of the Cooper book and Pass the Big ABA Exam manual for dinner some days (not literally, lol). Let’s just say I sometimes skipped meals because I stayed up studying into the late hours of the night. Thank God for my sweet wife who started making sure I ate by bringing food to “my room”. Yes, it was THAT serious. And yes, I created a zen room for my sanity that doubled as a place to study. At the end of it all, my goal was accomplished. I passed yet another very difficult test.

But…I had lost soooooo much weight. People started asking if I was okay. I was fine, just stressed. I had already drastically changed my diet after the MS diagnosis, so the stress didn’t help with my appearance. There I was again trying to get it together. This time I was much more intentional about my changes and consistency was a necessity. Back to yoga once again. This time I really began to study the depth of yogic philosophy and science (yes, it is a science) and committed myself to a dedicated practice. The end of that road led me to pursue the path of becoming a certified yoga teacher. Here I am, an RYT-200 and a proud graduate of Namah Shivaya International School of Yoga & Meditation by way of their former Dallas campus. A completely new journey and a large responsibility.

So how does it all tie in together? Imagine someone who is well versed in the science of human behavior and “the science of the mind” (as it is referred to in Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras). Imagine someone who has a toolbox that includes evidence-based practices, mindfulness, wellness coaching, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, breath work, and individualized goal setting (accompanied by quantitative data). Imagine someone who researches and studies how to improve the human experience on all levels. That is me. What’s my proof? I try everything on myself first. So far, it has worked out well. I have been able to do the most amazing things of my life in the midst of crisis. I started this business in 2020; another year on the The Most Stressful Years of My Life list. I did this not for myself, but for others. For you.

Allow me to be your guide. It’s my pleasure to serve you.